Too Much
by Lovesic Lyrix
Summary: Sometimes Soda couldn't handle it all by himself, and he wished he could tell someone how he was really feeling. He just couldn't. So he confided in the dark night sky to keep his weakness and vulnerability to itself as he finally broke down...


**Author's Notes**

Just a cute fic about Soda and Steve's relationship. I'd like to think they're both open about their feelings to each other when they can't be with anyone else.

Sorry if it's too OOC or something. It's only my second one-shot and I'm still trying to get their characters down. :)

**The Outsiders belongs to S.E. Hinton.**

* * *

The sun was starting to set. It was just getting to the point where it blended in with the earth, and turned the sky those pretty shades of orange and pink that melted from a milky to navy blue, and the stars were shining brightly already. Soda sat on the front steps of his house, watching with sad, tired eyes. He used to love such a sight. He and Pony would often sit outside and watch the sun set just about every Friday night and talk about dumb, dreamy stuff.

But now it only made him realize things were going to be different, and that hurt. Johnny and Dally were dead. Pony was terribly ill and was worrying him half to death. Sandy had broken his heart and left him for some dumb Soc who'd probably abuse her because she was too scared to be as faithful to Soda as he was to her. Not to mention he'd been missing a lot of work at the DX because he'd been staying home to look after Pony so Darry could go to work. One of them had to work, they couldn't afford to pay the bills as it was. He was falling apart, and the gang, or what was left of the gang, all knew it.

Soda had never been the best at hiding his emotions like the others could. He was more like Pony and Johnny in that aspect. More open to hurt and pain. And look where that'd brought them. Johnny was dead, Pony was sick and wouldn't eat or talk, and Soda was just plain falling apart. He couldn't handle all this at once, but he was thinking more about how Pony was taking it than his own feelings. He was so worried about him...

A few tears slid down his cheeks that he hadn't noticed were forming till the fell from his eyes. He didn't think he had anymore tears to cry. He'd never tell the others, but he'd been crying himself to sleep every night after everyone went to bed. Sometimes he couldn't even sleep at all.

He was taking everything hard. Too hard. Greasers weren't supposed to care this much. Greasers weren't supposed to wear their heart on their sleeve and let everyone elses' feelings affect them so much. But he did care too much, but about others when he should be caring about himself. The others knew he was hurting, even if he told them he was fine, he'd get over it every time they tried to get him to talk about it. They knew he didn't want them to worry about him too. It was bad enough everyone was worried about Ponyboy, he didn't need to be bugging them with his problems too.

But sometimes Soda couldn't handle it all by himself, and he wished he could tell someone how he was really feeling. He just couldn't. So he confided in the dark night sky to keep his weakness and vulnerability to itself as he finally broke down.

* * *

The next morning Darry suggested Soda go to work with Steve instead today. He was already missing a few days and he couldn't afford to miss anymore. He could be fired if he didn't start going again. Soda didn't feel right leaving Pony, but he knew he'd understand his situation. Besides, he could use something to get his mind off of everything. And being with Steve always seemed to make things a little easier for him.

With a tired sigh, he waved goodbye to Darry and Pony and walked out to Steve's car where his best friend was waiting eagerly. He got in without a word and gave him a small smile.

"Hey Soda. How you been buddy?" Steve asked softly as he gave Soda a friendly pat on the shoulder. He was worried for his best friend, but he knew better than to say anything about it. He was still pretty broken up about the whole situation himself, but he knew Soda had it worse than him, Darry, Two-Bit, and even Ponyboy.

Soda put on the best fake smile he could to hide the truth, even if he knew Steve would be able to see right through it.

"I'm okay. Pony finally decided to eat something this mornin'. He looked a little less pale too. I think he might be doin' a little better."

Steve smiled sadly at his friend. It was just like him to avoid a question about himself and talk about his kid brother instead. He was glad to hear he was doing a little better though.

"Well that's good to hear. See, I told ya he's a trooper. Before you know it he'll be jumpin outa that bed and runnin' in them track races again." Steve said brightly, attempting to lift Soda's spirits. He felt his heart soar for a moment when he saw that long lost twinkle in his eyes. But only for a moment.

"Yeah," He said softly, his smile faltering. "I really hope so."

Steve frowned a bit as he pulled in to the DX. He hated seeing Soda like this. He missed seeing him with that ear-to-ear smile and those bright, excited eyes. Soda was always such a happy clown, making everyone else feel better about having a crappy day for whatever reason. Now he seemed like a different person than that Soda. He was so fragile, even if he tried not to show it.

"Steve..?" His heart nearly broke at the vulnerability he heard seeping from just that one word. He looked at his friend, focusing all his attention on him. Soda wasn't looking back, he was staring at a spot on the floor of the car at he absently picked at his fingers.

"Yeah Soda?"

"Can.. can I tell you something..?"

"Anything. You know you can tell me anything Sodapop. What's eatin you?"

"...Promise me you won't tell the others, okay?"

"I promise." He answered quickly. He wanted to hear what Soda had to say, but he briefly wondered if he might possibly have to break that promise if it was something serious. How could he promise he wouldn't tell any of the others if it meant Soda might get hurt?

There was a quick pause before Soda spoke again.

"I... nevermind I said anything. Sorry about that.." He opened the car door to get out, but Steve quickly pulled him back and slammed the door shut again.

"No! You ain't avoiding this no more! You tell me what's on your mind, right now!" His voice started out angry, but it melted into desperation. He couldn't continue to watch his best buddy tear himself up over this.

Soda stared at Steve in shock. Steve had never raised his voice at him like that before. The look in his eyes were harsh, but caring. He knew he couldn't run from his feelings forever. He also knew Steve had been patiently waiting for him to explain himself for the past couple weeks. He could always tell Steve what was bothering him. He knew Soda was sensitive and he never ever said anything about it, because Soda asked him not to.

A realization hit him just then. He didn't have to hide his feelings. Not from Steve or any of the gang. They knew how Soda was, and they loved him all the same. They were worried about him and he was giving them nothing. He tried to hide away behind a wall that wasn't built right, to keep the others from worrying, but he didn't notice that was just making things worse.

"Please Soda.. we're all worried about you." Steve insisted after a minute of silence. Soda looked back up at Steve from that spot he'd started staring at again.

"I'm a broken mess, ain't I buddy?" He laughed sadly, trying to hold back the tears that just never seemed to want to go away. He could see both relief and concern wash over Steve's face. He knew he never had to hide his feelings around Soda either, even though sometimes he did it out of pure instinct.

Soda sniffed as the tears finally spilled over, and he quickly felt a strong arm wrap around his shoulders. "Sorry Stevie... I can't help it sometimes..."

"Hey, it's okay buddy... If you gotta cry, you let yourself cry... You ain't got nothin' to be ashamed about." He could hear Steve's voice shaking a little at that last sentence, and a small, amused smile formed on his soft face.

"Why're you cryin Stevie?" He asked in a small, curious voice, looking over at his friend, who was now looking out the window instead of at him.

He heard him sniff a little and mumble, "I ain't cryin, just got somethin in my eye is all..."

Soda couldn't help but giggle a little at Steve's defenseness. "You just said it was okay to cry..."

"I..." He paused a moment and finally looked back at Soda. "Fine, alright, I'm cryin! Happy now?" He answered stubbornly. He had a bit of a smile on his face too.

Soda sniffed again and laughed. "Lookit us. Some tough greasers we are huh? Huggin and bawlin our eyes out in a car." Steve laughed too.

"Yeah, real tough. Now all we need is a basket of yarn and some kittens and we'll be the toughest greasers in town." Steve added and they laughed harder, finally wiping their eyes.

Steve was the best friend a guy could ask for, and even if things weren't going too good right now, he was glad he had someone to make him laugh when he can't stop crying. Someone to make things a little better when they can't get much worse.

Someone to piece him back together when he's done falling apart.


End file.
